Friction. Choices, Choices?


Friction is everywhere. If it wasn’t, life would be easy. There’d be no resistance to anything you try to do. Choices would be a breeze.

One type of friction is good. It’s feedback telling you you’re on the wrong path and should adjust course.

Another type of friction is bad. It’s a test trying to derail you from the proper path you’re on.

How do you discern the good from the bad? How do you make the right choice? You need to do the following:

  1. Slow life down. Your busyness is creating noise, which is distorting the signal. Slowing down is like watching a video in slow motion. You see things you don’t notice in real-time.
  2. Calm your mind. Your mind is like a computer that never shuts down. Multitasking is overrated. It prevents us from seeing the big picture. Use breathing exercises like the one described here to calm your mind.
  3. Make quiet time a habit. Every morning and evening, set aside 5-10 minutes to reflect on your day. Ask yourself key questions and write down the answers. Be honest and open with yourself. Here’s what I ask:
    • Morning ritual:
      • For what and whom am I grateful today?
      • What am I excited about and look forward to doing today?
      • What is my purpose? Do my plans today connect me to it?
      • How can I move the dial toward my goals today? Are my goals aligned with my purpose?
      • To whom can I reach out to serve or thank today?
    • Evening ritual:
      • Was I “on” and in the zone today or “off” and unbalanced? What contributed to this feeling?
      • What were the top three positive things today? What did I learn from them?
      • What went wrong today? What is the silver lining?
      • Are there unsolved challenges I would like my subconscious mind to help me solve tonight?

If you commit to mastering the art of discerning good friction from bad friction, then you’re on your way to a more levelheaded life.

And a happier, more confident, calm, assertive you making better choices.

Note: This post was originally published on September 24, 2017 and republished on March 12, 2023.

Published by Marc Casciani

Bridging brothers & sisters to what's important. Author of Craft Your Calling. Host of the Neighborly Love podcast.

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