As I get older and more empathetic, my sensors for detecting insincerity are maturing. And the second I detect it, my guard goes up. I immediately become skeptical about anything that is said after that moment. Even with the benefit of the doubt, I question their motive. To the extreme, I completely distrust everything they say.
I’m continually amazed by the number of people who lack awareness of their falsity. It’s a real turnoff. They go on to spew volumes of facts, figures and other things they know. They talk and talk and talk without listening. They don’t read body language. They lack the minimum emotional intelligence to understand the following basic fact of life:
People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.
I’ve challenged myself to embrace this kernel of truth and be genuine with everything I say, write and do. Before I can accomplish anything with others, they need to know I genuinely care about them. My credibility hinges on it.
For me, this required a change of mind and heart. It did not happen overnight, but I was committed to it. Now, I don’t even remember what the old me was like. All I know is that I love the new me.
I authentically care about my family, friends and colleagues with whom I work and volunteer. And as new acquaintances enter my life, I have a genuine interest in their well-being. I fundamentally understand they do not care what I know until they know that I care.