Not On My Watch

I’ve always been different. My entire life, it seems like I have been placed into situations and environments where I didn’t fit in. I’ve always wondered why. Why do I always feel like the anomaly? It would be so much easier to simply fit in with the crowd, to row with the current, not against it.

And in every one of those situations, I’ve always wanted to be lifted and elevated. I wanted others to see me. I wanted them to notice I was there. But time and time again, it just never happened. Someone else got the glory. It’s as though I was being told no.

So as I look back over my life, and specifically the past 24 years, I realize that I was not being told no, but rather not now. I was also being told, “It’s not about you, Marc.” I see it all so clearly now.

Everything has led up to this moment. This spiritual battle. And I’m ready for it. Thank you, God, for preparing me for it. Your right, it’s not about my glory. It’s about Your Glory. Your Will. I see that now.

Every situation and environment you’ve placed me in, you’ve done it so that I may be persistently vigilant. So that I may keep careful watch for possible danger or difficulty. So that I may demonstrate bold leadership. As I was selfish in those past moments, I failed the tests. But your loving correction, Father, is not in vain, for I have learned from those experiences. I am so grateful for the good you’ve brought out of all those mistakes I’ve made and the painful experiences I’ve had. I am the wiser for it.

Now, I can serve as the bridge that forges alignment and friendship despite enormous differences in class, temperament, culture, race, sensibility, and personal history. Friendship that is about something. An underlying commonality that builds the most powerful, cohesive team. Thank you for giving me that gift and purpose.

As I sit on the cusp of a new test, I am adequately prepared for Thy Will to be done. I realize that what is at work won’t happen again and this opportunity to make things better won’t happen again.

The entropy of organizations means that difficult conversations and a positive ratchet of culture change are unlikely to occur on their own. This is a moment that I am prepared to say “not on my watch” and provide the bold, loving leadership you’ve groomed me for.

May You get all the Glory.

Published by Marc Casciani

Bridging brothers & sisters to what's important. Author of Craft Your Calling. Host of the Neighborly Love podcast.

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