The Eyes of Your Heart

Would you like better relationships? Have a more satisfying career? Live a more purposeful life? Then go see a Heartometrist, a specialist that diagnoses defects in empathy in order to prescribe corrective spiritual lenses.

Most of us go to an optometrist every year or two. In elementary school, we learn it’s a good habit to form if we want to see the physical world well. The truth is all of us are also given spiritual eyes, they eyes of the heart, which allow us to see the unseen.

Seeing the unseen is the key to empathy. Empathy is the key to better relationships, a more satisfying career, a more purposeful life. It is the cornerstone to happiness.

Behind the scenes in every workday, beyond every interaction you have with another person, past every conversation is a backstory, a context providing narrative. Any given day, you are exposed to hundreds, if not thousands, of backstories. Corrective spiritual lenses will allow you to see them clearly. The eyes of your heart will never be the same. Your life will become eternally significant.

Do I have your interest in correcting your spiritual vision? If not, then you can stop reading. If so, then kindly keep going.

Two tools a Heartometrist will use to correct defects in empathy are:

• Labels
  • A label is when you restate what you thought you heard the other person say in a conversation. It begins with a phrase such as the following:
    • “It sounds like … your not happy with Sally.”
    • “It feels like … you’re frustrated with the position you’ve been put into.”
    • “It seems like … you’re backed in to a corner.”
  • Labels require you to actually listen to the other person and what they are really saying. Don’t say anything else. Just shut up and listen.
  • You don’t have to be perfect. Practice is the key. Employ the technique in every conversation. The other person will either tell you “that’s right” or they will correct you so that you learn how they really feel.
• Mirrors
  • A mirror is when you repeat, in an inquisitive tone, the last three to five words the other person says. Here’s an example:
    • Other person: “You just don’t communicate well, and it’s really frustrating. I’m done with you. I can’t do what’s expected of me because you’re always leaving me in the dark.“
    • You: “Leaving you in the dark?“
  • Rather than be defensive and escalate the conversation into an argument, just shut up and listen to what they say. They will elaborate with something specific that will be enlightening.
  • Mirrors are very effective when used in combination with labels.

These two tactical empathy techniques will help you see what’s in the other person’s heart by opening up your heart to them. In doing so, your relationship with them will improve over time.

Better relationships are the fundamental building block to doing better work and finding happiness in your career. An because you spend the majority of your day at work, the positive ions you create and empathy you acquire will be carried home with you to help you build better relationships with your family.

Commit to forming a new good habit. See your Heartometrist regularly. Practice tactical empathy with your coworkers, customers, friends and family. Employ labels and mirrors to see better with the eyes of your heart.