Fact or fiction? You are who you are because you chose to be that way.
You might be saying, “nonsense”. I’m a product of my parents, my childhood, my education (or lack of), my circumstances.
I agree with you that those things are variables in your life that have shaped you. However, I’m asking a deeper question. Do you like the way they have shaped you? If yes, then awesome. Retain those qualities. If no, then understand you’re in control. You can choose to change anything about yourself.
Repeat after me: “I am who I choose to be”.
This is easier than you think. It takes time, but it’s easy. When you were in second grade, algebra seemed hard. However, by the time you got to ninth grade, algebra was easy. Look at any skill or habit you posses today from the end-view. You acquired them incrementally over time, bit by bit, drip by drip.
Three ingredients are needed for your “choice”:
- Desire – you have to want to do it. This is for you, nobody else.
- Patience – you don’t know how long it will take. Give it time. Small steps in the right direction still get you to your destination.
- Forgiveness – you will make mistakes. Expect them. Learn from them. Forgive yourself. Let it go and continue on the patient path to what you want.
The means are the ends. How you choose to act changes who you’ll become. How you choose to get to where you’re going determines what you’ll be like when you get there. Arrange your life around simple habits that serve the way you want to behave.
It’s never too late to start, and there’s support available. It’s your choice, but you don’t have to travel the journey alone.