Several months ago, I reached out to a friend as his surgery date approached, offering to send daily prayers for encouragement. What I thought would be a simple act of friendship became a profound journey, a masterclass in counter-cultural living that would resurrect a truth I’d learned years earlier at a family camp nestled in the Laurel Highlands of western Pennsylvania.
There, I first encountered a simple motto that would become a transformative framework for life: I’m Third.
After his surgery, my friend shared something with me that cut through all the noise of our self-obsessed culture. In the middle of the night, God had spoken to him clearly: “My care moving forward needs to be focused on my belief in God. My entire team and family need to support this belief.“
Think about that for a moment. In the middle of a health crisis, when our culture would tell him to focus on his needs, his comfort, his journey, he understood something profound that we desperately need to teach our children: This life isn’t about us.
I’m Third is rooted in Jesus’s words in Mark 12:30-31: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.“
But there’s a deeper layer that reveals the beauty of this surrender. At the root of I’m Third’s meaning is Galatians 5:13-14: “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.‘”
To allow yourself to be third in priority, you must sacrifice your wants, needs, and desires and subordinate your interests to those of God first and other people second, in that order. The posture of your spirit embraces the freedom to serve rather than the impulse to be served.
But please don’t misunderstand, this surrender is beautiful. God intends for the beauty of humble service to mingle with the beauty of boldness so that a new reality emerges even more beautiful than the sum of both. It is one of God’s most beautiful works, and it is one of the most needed in our day.
What Being Third Actually Looks Like
Throughout my friend’s journey, I witnessed this principle lived out with stunning clarity. He never complained. He thanked. He encouraged. He showed up, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.
Even on days when I suspected he could barely lift his head, he still responded to my prayers with gratitude. Every single day.
After everything he’d endured, major surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, when he finally returned to church for the first time in over a year, his message was simply: “God is good.“
Not “I’m so glad to be out.” Not “I deserve this after what I’ve been through.” Simply: “God is good.”
That’s what God-first living looks like.
Then came October 19th and devastating news. The CT scans showed the lesions had grown, and new ones appeared throughout his liver. His response still touches me deeply:
“I don’t understand God’s plan. But I have to believe He has greater plans for me. He pulled me through surgery and ICU, and revealed Himself to me. God could’ve just let me go then…“
Do you see what happened? Even in his darkest moment, he wasn’t thinking about himself. He was asking: “God, what do you want to do through this? How can my suffering serve others?”
This is what “others second” looks like in real life. This is the fruit of a life properly ordered.
The Beautiful Paradox I’ve Discovered
Years ago, that family camp experience affirmed my passion to “be third.” And living this principle has revealed something our culture can’t comprehend: When we put ourselves third, we actually find the peace and purpose we were frantically chasing when we put ourselves first.
Here’s what I’ve discovered through daily intentionality:
- By being third, I am able to be a peacemaker at a time when society is dominated by conflict, anger, and contention.
- By being third, I receive an internal peace that overflows in my relationships with others.
- By being third, when I experience disagreements, I have the peace of mind to respond in a Godly manner that defuses aggression and hostility.
Anyone who is preoccupied with exerting their rights, getting what they want, and proving they’re right only breeds contention, anger, bitterness, and resentment. None of those negative emotions can coexist with peace because they keep their focus off God and on their own selfish demands.
This isn’t theoretical wisdom. It’s a lived experience. I’ve watched it transform my marriage, my parenting, my friendships, my work. When I’m consumed with my own agenda, I’m restless and anxious. But when I surrender to God’s priorities and focus on serving others, I discover that the self I was so worried about actually flourishes, not as the goal, but as the byproduct.
The core message resonates deeply: true fulfillment comes from aligning one’s gifts with a higher purpose. It’s not about the accolades we collect, but the lives we touch and the character we develop along the way.
Jesus said it plainly in Matthew 10:39: “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.“
Friends, we’re raising families in a world that is desperately, tragically focused on self. Every message our children receive tells them the same lie: You are the center of your universe.
But we were made for something so much greater than our own happiness.
We were made for God’s glory. We were made to love and serve others. And when we get those two things right, we discover the abundant life Jesus promised, not a life free from suffering, but a life full of meaning, purpose, and unshakeable peace.
The solution to heal our society isn’t more self-assertion, more demands for our rights, or more focus on our feelings and preferences.
The solution is cultivating three essential passions:
- A passion for knowing God experientially, not just intellectually
- A passion for serving others in His name, not for our glory
- A passion for being third, embracing the freedom to serve that God transforms into boldness
The Legacy Worth Leaving
What race are we running? What fight are we teaching our children to fight? What faith are we modeling in our homes?
May we have the courage to live radically counter-cultural lives. May we teach our children that being third isn’t losing yourself. It’s finding yourself. May we show them that this narrow path, though difficult, leads to life in all its fullness.
True strength isn’t found in asserting our rights or demanding our way. It’s discovered in the surrender, in the humble spirit of service, that God remakes us into something more beautiful than we could imagine.
MindWolves 