At the root of anything that holds us back is fear. Take an inventory of the top 3 things you want to do, but aren’t doing. Write them down. Ask yourself why aren’t I doing them? Write those answers down. Ask why again. Keep asking why until you uncover the root fear. Usually, you’ll get the truth by the fifth why.
There is no fear in love. Perfect love drives out all fear. Therefore, if you are afraid, then it’s not possible to feel perfectly loved.
That begs the question, what does perfect love feel like?
- Perfect love is unconditional. It’s not based on prerequisites. It’s not a function of, “If you do this, or don’t do that, then I’ll love you.”
- Perfect love frees us from systems and practices that are rooted in “should” rather than true desire. Perfect love will take us as we are, but also desires to nurture and enlighten our minds and hearts.
- Perfect love empowers us to serve others with joy, patience, kindness, gentleness and empathy.
- Perfect love is one-way street. You give it without any expectation of reciprocity. However, trust in the natural law, as you sow so shall you reap.
Here’s how to put this in practice, at home, at work and in every facet of your life:
- Step 1: Know that you are perfectly loved by God no matter how undeserved you feel. Moses was abandoned by his birth mother, adopted into a completely different culture, was not a great orator, fled the scene of the crime after he murdered someone and hid in isolation for 40 years. Yet, God still chose him to be a great leader.
- Step 2: Show God love by making time for him daily. The key to strengthening any relationship is being intentional with your time. It works with God as with people. Focus on quality time, not quantity. Put God on our calendar. I have 15 minute appointments with God at 6 am and 8 pm every day.
- Step 3: Show others love by mastering tactical empathy. Always put yourself in their shoes, give them the benefit of the doubt, understand how they feel and create a safe environment for them to be vulnerable with you. Here’s a key point … you don’t have to like someone to love someone, but if you show them love first, you relationship can only improve. That’s a natural law.
Many of us are silently suffering in our relationship with God because we’re living in fear or bitterness in our relationship with others. Perfect love will cast out the fear and place you on a path of healing and purpose.
Great teams are built on the premise of perfect love where the only fear that remains is the fear of disappointing that person who has shown much love.